The Irony of A Stress-Induced Rash

I feel as though I'm a fairly even-keeled gal.  I don't lose my cool all that often and have pretty good grip on my emotions spinning wildly out of control.  All that to say . . . I find it highly insulting to get rashes and eye twitches which are beyond my control and come to find out . . due to stress.  Honestly . . . how am I to get a handle on my "stress levels" when my neck itches and my eye is bugging out on itself.

To make matters more interesting . . . I went to the doctor today for my "girly exam".  Since I will be quitting my job soon, it means that I have to get different health insurance WHICH MEANS a high deductible.  My frugal-responsible-self won over my doctor-phobia-self.  SO . . . I nervously showed up and waited 20 minutes before someone told me my doctor wasn't even there.  *sigh*.

They wanted me to reschedule.  I know my faults - - at least a healthy portion of them -- and therefore knew that if I walked out of the building without an exam, I would wait at least 5 years before venturing in to a doctor's office again.  They ended up finding someone who had a "window of time" available and could help me.  I decided to just assume that the woman performing my exam was an actual medical practitioner and not the janitor in scrubs.  BUT FOR MY SANITY'S SAKE - - I didn't ask.

When I asked the doctor/janitor about my rash all she did was acknowledge that  - - yes, indeed, I did have a rash.  I think she even laughed a little bit.  Ummm . . . NOT HELPFUL.  Does it appear to be alarming?  I don't get rashes - Why would I get one now?  No, I didn't use different detergent.  What's the worse case scenario this rash could mean?

AHHHHHHHHH . . . . .Calm down.  Breathe. Breathe.  Is it spreading?!  I'm not sure . Maybe if I stress out about it a little more, it will stop.

Its Tough To Throw a Pity Party When Sick.

I'm sick.  I hate being sick. I feel as though I might suffocate at any moment.  The other issue with being sick at this moment is I don't have time to be sick - I need to be picking out flooring, packing, painting, figuring out insurance, banks, etc. with the upcoming move.  AND, there is constant construction at my house so I can't even stay home and wallow in my self pity and boxes of kleenex.

Last night we had a floor rep come out and give us a quote on flooring.  Unfortunately, he did not accept plasma donations as a legitimate payment plan.  So tonight we get to go to Lowes, Menards and Home Depot.  I only like Lowes.  They are helpful.  They are smart.  Menards and Home Depot - take notes from Lowes.  Boyd does not share my sentiments - - although I have noticed his first choice has been Lowe's lately.  He's smart too.  It appears I have a delightful evening ahead of me.

I know I have been convincingly sick lately because Boyd vacuumed up all of his sawdust mess last night.  I heard the shopvac for at least 45 minutes. I decided to lock myself in the bedroom and read the Bible.  Just kidding. I am far too involved in finding out how Mitch Rapp is going to rescue the President of the United States and several hostages who are being held in the White House - No idea how I shut the lights out last night and made my way to work today with that hanging over my head.

I have no idea where this post is going.  To be honest, I'm not even sure where it started.  I need to find my DayQuil, grab a new box of kleenex and stumble on over to Lowe's. 

Good night.

Where the Buffalo Roam

Boyd and I have lived in the Twin Cities for 12 years. 12 years!!!  Its been a great time.  However, since the death of my brother-in-law, we have been discussing moving back to The Prairie to be in closer proximity to my sister and her 3 boys. 

Its such an odd, conflicted feeling I have about it all.  On the one hand, its hard for me to hear people being "excited" that we are moving back because the very reason we are moving back is forever seared in my brain and heart as frankly, quite awful.  I know the "excitement" is well-meaning but I feel very conflicted on the topic.  I'm weird like that. 

Don't get me wrong, there are things that I am excited about.  To name a few: (1) family (both of us have family in the area); (2) no state income tax; (3) the possibility of an acreage; (4) Boyd will no longer be self-employed (boooyaaah); and (5) the clear, starry nights.

*I will hold off on citing the things I'm not crazy about . . . ahem . . the wind for starters and lack of restaurants . . . and . . .okay, okay . . I'll stop. . . . :)

We still have a lot of hurdles to get thru for the move to be completed but we did get one of the biggest obstacles out of the way - -Boyd has a job lined up!  He will be working for Superior Homes as a Production Manager.  They operate on 4 day work weeks.  This makes me very happy.

We are working on the Stillwater house to get it ready for renters or buyers - such a pain in the a*s.   The entire Stillwater House Endeavor has been a big pain.  **Sidenote, does anyone else find it ironic that a bank will not put a mortgage on the house bc the master bathroom isn't done (and a few other small things?!  So the value of the house is zero until the master bath is done?! Not even a partial value . . zero.  In the meantime though, the property tax dept is more than happy to give our home a fairly hefty value allowing us the privilege of paying more taxes.** Boyd will be traveling back on his 3 day weekends to keep it moving forward.   If anyone knows of someone looking for a place - shoot me an email.  This is probably one of the biggest stressers with the move.

Initially, we will be living in a van down by the river once we get to The Prairie.  :) 

We will definitely miss Minnesota.  The beautiful landscape, the restaurants, friends, lack of obligations, my job, our church, small group, etc.  I wouldn't change our decision to move here.  We have had to rely on each other for everything and have been able to do so much more together as a couple.  I'm hoping the move doesn't leave us running in opposite directions all the time - - its a concern.

So . . with sadness, we leave the beautiful state of Minnesota but with great hope we take a step back into The Prairie.

Nerd.

I wanted to be an author or a librarian when I grew up.  Then, I decided I wanted to own a book store.  Then I wanted to be a marine biologist and from there I wanted to run a zoo.  Now I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up.  The one thing I do know is that I LOVE to read. **Have you ever seen Girls Just Want to Have Fun?  There's this part where Sarah Jessica Parker says, "And, I LOVE to dance".  I'm that passionate - - but about books, not dancing**

I'm not a "nerdy nerd" in the brilliant-sense of the word.  I'm more of a nerd in the fact that I get concerned about being bored and always have to have a book with me.  I used to even bring a book in my overnight bag for sleepovers.  You know . . in case the girls were boring or something.  I learned early on to ALWAYS have a book with me if mom or dad made me run errands with them.  Ugh!  I could be stuck in the car for minutes - literally minutes!

I'm not sure if this will be a monthly segment or not but I'd like to give a quick book review of some recent books I have read and whether I would recommend them or not.

Fall of Giants (Ken Follett):  This is the first book in a century trilogy series he is writing.  The other book I have read by Ken Follet is Pillars of the Earth, which I LOVED **warning: note that "Pillars" was a rather "scandalous" book at times**.  Fall of Giants begins in 1914 with events leading up to World War I. This book has so much to offer:  political struggles, the British feminist movement, labor strikes, the Russian Revolution, royalty, peasants, etc.  It is deliciously long and interesting - - but then again, I am a lover of historical fiction.  *Highly recommend*

Girl Who Played with Fire (Stieg Larsson):  Second book in the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series.  LOVED it.  I think it was even better than the first book.  Lisbeth Salander is such a great character with her perfect memory, punk personality, etc.  This book deals with a murder investigation and prostitution/underworld rings. The entire series is intense and definitely not for the faint of heart.  It is also quite "explicit" at times. *Recommended, but with a warning that it is disturbing*

Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins):  AWESOME.  MUST READ ALL 3!!!  This series takes place in a post-apocalyptic future of North America being divided into 12 districts with the  "Capital" as the evil dictator. Once a year the Capital hosts the "Hunger Games" and 2 teenagers from every district are chosen at random to fight to the death.  I was unable to put these books down once I started reading.  **blasted Kindle makes it too easy to just purchase the next book once you finish the first!**  Once again . . very intense and addicting. *Highly Highly Recommend*

East of Eden (John Steinbeck):  I have not recently read this book but thought that my 3 recent "reads" all seem to be rather similar in the "intensity category".  The story takes place in California's Salinas Valley, from the American Civil War all the way to the end of World War I.  I loved how 2 of the main characters were twin brothers (supposed to be similar to Cain and Abel) and how being good came easily to one brother and not the other.  AND this book is also deliciously long.  I was depressed when it was over and have since read it twice.  East of Eden is my ALL TIME FAVORITE book even though most reviewers do not give it too high of marks.  Who will you believe? *Highly Highly Highly recommend*

Books Currently on my Nightstand:

Heaven is for Real (Todd Burpo)
Crazy Love (Francis Chan)
Same Kind of Different as Me (Ron Hall and Denver Moore)
Transfer of Power (Vince Flynn) - first one of his Mitch Rapp books

** To be continued **

The Art of Cross Country Skiing

I've been trying to exercise more lately.  Of course . .. ONLY WHEN I WANT TO.  Whew. I  nearly blew one of my new year's resolutions of "only exercising when I want to."

Boyd has been encouraging me to go cross country skiing after I get home from work.   I'm not a great skier (a big understatement) but since its nice and slow and I can go at my own pace and its a SAFE activity, I have obliged in this form of exercise/outdoor activity.

So, I hustle home from work, throw on snow gear, grab the skis and start marching down to the railroad tracks near our house.  Boyd immediately harnesses Lou to his belt and Mel gets to run free. **Mel and Lou are our dogs.  Mel is a yellow lab and is extremely loyal and listens to commands.  Lou is a beagle and tends to be more of a free spirit.  We love our children . . I mean our dogs.**

I manage to fall down walking to the trail.  How you ask?  Easily and not gracefully. We get to the trail.  I cannot for the life of me get my stupid boots to "click" into the skis. **Minor note.  At this point in time, I am in my "hormonal week" which means I frustrate easily.  It also means that even though I may get more uptight than usual, I always have a legitimate reason for being irritated.  You can ask Boyd.  He wouldn't dare to disagree . . . I mean he would agree with this insight.**

I get the boots clicked into the skis - - actually Boyd gets them clicked in for me.  And we take off.  I fall again within 2 minutes.  Boyd is ahead of me yelling "mush" to Lou, our little Beagle - **Yes, I know this is weird** - Consequently he doesn't hear me yell at him.  I decide to stay calm.  After all, I'm not hurt, just irritated.  I try and get up but the snow is so deep I keep getting buried into the drift.  I manage to almost get up and fall about 3-4 more times.  We haven't even started and I'm wet and cold.  I'm also taking DEEP BREATHS to calm the inner demons at this point. I finally get up, start skiing and last 10 minutes before I start complaining about being too cold and wet and that its too dark.  We get back to the house and Boyd is giving me a pat on the back telling me how proud he is of me.

And then I realize . . . . .Its official.  I have issues.

My Adrenaline-Junkie Nephew.

Prior to our knitting lesson, Boyd had taken G to learn how to snowboard.  G is my 6 yr. nephew - the son of Sister1.  I'm not entirely sure at what age you should teach this skill but I tried at 25 yrs of age and it didn't happen.  Boyd has finally come to terms with the whole "klutzy-stubborn-I-give-up-if-it-doesn't-work-right-away-trait".  ** Back in the day when we were dating, he tried to teach me how to ski.  It was the first time that I completely spazzed out on him.  He's still scarred from this and yet stupidly still asked me to marry him.  Sucker.***

I called Boyd after they had been there for 3 hours.  He sounded pretty defeated - said they hadn't had much success yet but were going to head to the chalet and "fuel up" so they could go "smash this mountain."  I then received this text shortly after:

"G fell of the bench while eating his burger, not exactly what we're looking for. But he is pretty sure he's ready for the half pipe."

Boyd called again about an hour later.  He sounded positively giddy.  He had finally allowed G off the bunny hill and they were having SUCCESS.  Supposedly G kept assuring Boyd that he just needed to go straight down and find a few jumps (he really is his father's son) **Side note: G's dad (Ry) passed away in August 2010.  It has been a very sad loss for Sister1 and the boys and all the involved families. Ry was a dare devil to the very core and we all miss him very much.***  Boyd wisely (shockingly) said no - G could get off the bunny hill once he learned how to slow down and fall safely.  The little bugger did it and off they went to a bigger hill where G "shredded it up". **I have no idea if I am using correct snowboarding terminology** 

When they got back to the hotel, G was BEAMING.  He was so excited.  I found him the next day with Boyd's phone looking over the videos that Boyd had taken of the night. He had the cutest little grin on his face watching himself fly down the hill.  What an awesome kid.  I'm a lucky aunt.

The mighty mountain warriors

 

Darn Knit.

My sisters were in town this past weekend.  For sake of "privacy" - I shall refer to them as Sister1 and Sister2.  Sister1 is my older sister and Sister2 is my younger sister.  Would this make me Sister1.5???

*** I also have 2 brothers.  Brother1 is just one year younger than me and Brother2 is 18 years younger than me. When mom and dad told us they were pregnant with Brother2, I was entirely grossed out.  As an 18 year old, I really didn't want to think about my parents "doing it".  They were OLD after all . . . like 39.  I remember always sticking with the story that Brother2 was an "accident" bc OH MY WORD . ...how embarrassing that they were TRYING to get pregnant! ****

Where was I?  Yes.  This past weekend.  Sister1 has 3 boys (G is 6, O is 4 and Oli is 2) and they were also along for the weekend festivities. Boyd was in charge of them while we went to my friend Tana's house to learn the art of knitting.  Tana asked us what we were wanting to make and Sister1 and Sister2 had decided on a cowl while I wanted to learn how to make fun knitted hats.  This was a mistake.  Sister1 and Sister2 were happily knitting along while I was stuck on how to make a slip knot.  It went steadily downhill from there.  I started out wanting a hat.  I then decided it would be a child's hat.  And then a baby headband and finally a Christmas tree ornament of a stocking hat.  Needless to say, I had to start entirely over. 

Tana was gracious enough not to mock me.  Sister1 and Sister2 were not so gracious.  The above picture is Sister1 showing off her new skills.  No, she did not knit that shawl in 5 hrs.  BUT she is knitting.  Officially.  and so is Sister2.  Its disgusting.

A Little Insight Into Middle Sister

Here is an insight into the workings of a middle child. . . and when I say middle child, I mean the REAL MIDDLE CHILD.  None of this, "I am the 2nd born" but then you happen to be the first born male or female.  This does not count.

In a nutshell, the middle child is not easily defined.**Or at least I like to think it is a "middle child trait" and not just that I am crazy** I have found over the years that I tend to be one big contradiction.  I shall share a few examples that come to mind:

I love coffee shops but don't care for coffee. 

I freely mock myself but blush easily. (very annoying)

I can chatter endlessly but the next minute be tongue tied.

I'm a people-pleaser and yet find myself being the "confronter".

I hate organizing but have an administrative job.

I don't like to be the leader but end up undertaking rather large endeavors.

I'm patient but only when I don't really want to get somewhere on time.

I like long hair but hate brushing it. 

I love being alone but crave company.

I hate cooking but adore eating.

I love summer but can't wait for fall.

I'm thrifty but can justify almost any purchase.

I would say I am adventurous but hate learning new things.

I like kids but always hope they are not near my airline seat. ** Our last flight I got the 4 yr old kicking my chair.  First Boyd had him and I was snickering bc Boyd was being jolted everywhere AND THEN the parents moved him . . . directly behind me.  BLASTED KARMA!**

I was not a big "relationship/dating" girl in high school and yet got hitched shortly after graduating.

I like humble people but only when they are talking about me. ;)

* * * *  

Funny story  . . or maybe disturbing . . . you can decide . . . I certainly can't.  Maybe its funny to me now but in 10 minutes I find it disturbing.  Don't box me in people!

Boyd and I had to take a psych test a year or so ago to make sure we were mentally sound to adopt. (we passed by the way-adoption was paused for other reasons) When the results were in, the psychiatrist met with us again.  He started with Boyd and went on to say his scores were great with lots of optimism and yet responsibility, blah blah blah.  He then looked at me.  I was informed that my results had confused him so much that he CALLED THE COMPANY WHO MAKES THE TESTS to figure out how my score was a perfectly "normal".  Supposedly he had never seen such drastic highs and lows on a test and the outcome score of "normal".

Basically, he thought I was "something special". 

P.S.  I'm going to try and learn how to knit on Saturday.  This is my "adventurous" side showing through with my "I hate to learn new things" thrown in.  I'm already dealing with my inner turmoil.  Stay tuned.

P.P.S.  Boyd is my husband.  He's fantastic - most of the time.

I AM CYNICALLY HOPEFUL FOR 2011

I am heartily welcoming 2011.  2010 was for the birds.  Good riddance.

Recently I found my 2009 goals (no idea where 2010 goals are . . this may be a clue as to my 2010 failures).  I wasn't able to fully check off any of my 2009 goals.  Maybe its because my goals were too lofty . . . . for example: (1) be more organized (2) exercise patience (3) be a good listener (4) get rid of stress.

What was I thinking?!

2011 is wide open.  I have learned a few things over the years.  One being to set reasonable goals.  This year they are going to be "achievable", dang it.  (1) exercise only when I feel like it (2) do not try any new diets (3) cook one meal a month (4) read many books (5) start a blog

Considering that I made chili on January 1st  - thus already partially achieving Goal #3 - - I would say I am off to a great start.  AND since I have now posted my first blog entry EVER, I can officially put a CHECK MARK on #5.

So . . feel free to read along as I record life, real life, or at least the parts I'm willing to share.


Ahhh . . . . . 2011.  I think I like you.